Let's analyze....

I'm doing my first sprint triathlon on Sunday.

What did I just say?

I'm doing my first sprint triathlon on Sunday.

Let's play the high school English teacher and diagram that sentence.

"I'm" translation: Rita

"doing" translation: attempting to finish before nighfall without medical assistance

"my first" translation: har dee har har

"sprint" translation: crawling, staggering, being dragged by two of my friends like an unconscious political prisoner having just faced the torturer...

"triathlon" translation: WHAT??????

"on Sunday" translation: The Lord's Day - the day God has set aside to remember his sacrifice on the Cross and a day of REST and RECHARGING for the week to come.

How did I miss those two points when I made this commitment? Have I totally forsaken my Christian identity?

I think doing this triathlon will be a grievous sin. All I'll be thinking about is MY sacrifice and I definitely won't be relaxing and recharging. I'll be breaking one of the Ten Commandments! This cannot be condoned!!!

Ok, there will definitely be prayer. Lots of it. But primarily the begging kind. The kind that starts to promise first borns, entire bank accounts, limbs, and any future joy or pleasure in exchange for the pain and suffering currently being endured.

I figured out that I can run without stopping for 7 decades of the Rosary. The Sorrowful Mysteries, of course.

Stop.

I have to think positively. I have to tell myself that I will live to blog again. That my next posting will be filled with tales of success and personal triumph. I'm going to go with that.

On a more serious note (and believe me, behind the laughs, it's all serious) - I am so thankful. I am thankful that my sister's friend started doing triathlons while seriously overweight. I'm thankful that I have a friend who ran the Philly Women's Triathlon and came in dead last. I'm thankful that I have friends to run with me and friends to throw water on me and friends who will fast the whole day and practice ancient body mortification rituals with whips and chains in my honor.

I'm thankful that even though I'm afraid, overweight, and ashamed - there is something (thank you very much, Holy Spirit) inside of me that tells me to act beyond my feelings. That tells me not to live a life of fear but to get out there an experience all that life has to offer. I like that.

It brought me Peru, Tenerife, a spanish teaching job, and now a triathlon.

It's going to be awesome.