I touched the wagon!

I wouldn't say I'm back "on the wagon" but this morning I saw it and touched it. Thank you Lord!!!!

Tony was occupied this morning which threw me off temporarily but I made the best of it with treadmill 2 . Ironically, when you're on treadmill 2, the focal point across from you is the red Exit sign. That's just not right. Give me back Tony and my two lamposts.

I'm so weird. But I was there.

Blogger, Read Thyself!

When I started this blog in September I had these lofty ideas that people would read my blog, feel transformed in their own goals, write to tell me so, and the cycle of encouragement would begin. Eventually I'd gain nationwide acclaim....(sorry, getting out of control here.)

Bottom line:

Yeah. Right.

The reality is a far different. I got knocked on my feet by a bad cold, ate and drank my way through Paradise Village Resort in Puerto Vallarta, and lost all will to continue this journey. And when that happens, all these great encouraging thoughts came flooding to my head.

Yeah. Right.

Those positive thoughts may have been there but they quickly lost a bloody battle with the negative thoughts that came barreling in with each piece of pizza or cheese steak. Manufacturers should write that in the nutrional information:
Carbs 52 g
Fat 10 g
Thoughts of Failure 33 g
Self Loathing 87 g (or whatever the "thought" units of measurement are, you get the picture.)

And the ugly thoughts stayed. They moved in. They had "ugly Rita" parties every morning and night in different parts of my brain. And when they party, these thoughts are LOUD. So loud that they disturbed the thoughts about being a teacher, a sister, a Christian, and a decent human being. Everyone joined the fiesta. It was getting out of hand.

But how to shut down da' noise and da' funk?

Back to my original plan. People will read my blog and be inspired. Blogger, READ THYSELF!!!Hmmm....what's that she said about a choice? What's that she said about just obey yourself when the emotions tell you to quit? Hmmm...she's a wise woman who had lost 20 lbs. I think I'll take her advice.

The alarm is set for 5.
The workout clothes are on in leiu of pajamas. (Trust me, it works.)
The water bottle is chilling in the fridge.
The socks and sneakers are by the bed. (I tried sleeping in them...no good.)
The blog is read for inspiration.
The prayers are said for grace. Would you add to them, please? It's so hard.

Here we go again. Turn on the Black Eyed Peas and "Let's Get it Started."

No Lite FM on MY iPod!

Before I tell you about Mexico I have to tell you a story of woe from the night before:

I don't think of myself as an OCD type of person even though I'm sure we all have leanings in that direction from time to time. Actually, when I think about it, I'm pretty sure I'm anti-OCD. If I could get a mild case it might help me be neater, pay my bills on time, and remember that sometimes Lost comes on an hour earlier on Wednesday nights. But if you ever saw me at the gym you'd think it was time for some psychiatric drugs. Evidence:

• Must run on Tony and only on Tony (aka treamill #3). When I'm with Tony I can look out the window at the three lamp posts in the Municipal Parking Lot. Don't ask me how or why, but some how I can run and concentrate if I look at those three posts. If I were to run on treadmill 1 or 2 I'd be forced to look at a blank wall or an annoying nature picture. How on earth is a field of wild flowers supposed to make you "feel the burn?"
• I must start my workout no later than 5:40 AM. After that I feel like I've messed up my day and it's not worth even doing. God help the Gym Guy who opens the door each morning. On days he's a millisecond late I want to hand him my planner and say "And how do you want me to handle the rest of today???"
• I must have my iPod and it must be ready and waiting with appropriate running songs. It's like my body is "sound activated"and when it hears the correct tempo it just starts moving. Put on music that is too slow and I can't handle it. My friend Christine works out to Lite FM. How on earth does she stay pumped when she's running to songs like "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor and "Rainy Days on Monday" by the Carpenters??? When my body hears those songs not only does it not run, it makes a beeline to any padded surface and falls asleep!

Now that I've set the scene for you, get this. I go to plug in my iPod to charge it before my trip and...nothing. It's frozen! It's dead! It's useless. I now have no music for the long plane ride to Puerto Vallarta or the necessary music to run and/or bike! I actually considered that Tony or Bob had something to do with it - they were nervous I'd fall in love with a Mexican model and never come back. But the pain of that frozen iPod as I just left it lifeless on my desk as I zipped my suitcase and headed out the door...sigh....!

But, determined to prove to myself that I didn't need no stinkin' iPod, I hopped on that treadmill at the resort and 5 minutes later I hopped right off again. Not the slightest teensiest inclination AT ALL to do any workouts. I did a Tae Bo class but my heart wasn't in it.

And so I gave up. No iPod, no workout. My friend and traveling companion Jamie would give me "the look" and "the sigh" but I was determined. No working out for me on this trip. The mega woman of last week was finally on vacation.

Big shock: I was ok with it. It was really and truly ok to not work out for 5 days. Lesson learned: there is a time and a season for everything. This was my time to do the tropical locale thing. I decided that I didn't want any reminder of my daily schedule back home. So when the alarm went off and I survived the well-meaning "look" and "sigh" from Jamie, I rolled over and picked up my book, read for a few minutes, and went back to sleep. Viva Mexico!

Ok, now this is where I'm thinking God was involved. Those of you who know me well know I'm not much of a "it's a sign!" kind of Christian but this was freaky. Yesterday morning, I plugged that dang iPod in and it was still frozen. In a huff, I just plunked it down my desk, still attached to the USB cable, and started checking email. Would you believe that darn thing popped out of it's slump after about 5 minutes and now works good as ever? What the heck?! Did God want me to take the weekend off and just be? I don't know. But I'll take the lesson anyhow.

Needless to say, I'm not weighing in at Weight Watchers. Due to the all-inclusive (and believe me, I included all) meal plan and plentiful drinks, I'm sure I'm up a few pounds. Truthfully, I don't care. But I'm back with Tony tomorrow at 5:30 AM. And I may visit Bob as well sometime during this week but I'm not going to go nuts. Hopefully my family will be proud of me. Regardless, I'm proud of me. I took a trip I've always wanted to take and I didn't wait until I was at my goal weight. I earned that trip just by being a hard worker and I'm enjoying my life right now.

That Gym Guy had better be there on time.

My New Boyfriends - Tony and Bob

Coorect posting date: 11/7/06

7:00 AM
Today is the day before I leave for beautiful Mexico. I'm a nervous wreck. I have been working sooooo hard to reach my 20 lb goal by tonight. And by some stroke of luck or Divine Intervention (not ruling that out at this point) I've been inspired to give it my all by doing 2 cardio workouts each day and drinking 2 liters of water each day this past week to make it happen.

Now before you check the top of your webpage and see that it does say "auntrita" - let me explain one of my weight loss success tips: momentum. Do it while you feel like doing it. And I felt like doing it this week. Tony the Treadmill was so proud of me but I have to say in hindsight, a bit jealous as I also hung out on Bob the Bike, a mere foot away from Tony.

Tony and I worked for an hour each morning and Bob and I for an hour each afternoon/evening. Is that going to be enough? Is it crazy to think I could lose 5 pounds in one week? Is it stupid and vain to even try? My thoughts just came back to momentum. There is going to come a time in the next week or two when I'm not going to want to do anything so I'm going to run with it. (Ok Bob, ride with it too. Now who's jealous?)

I'm off to weigh in at school for our Biggest Loser contest. I've not eaten or drank anything since around 6:00 AM. I'm wearing the lightest clothes possible. I wonder if my principal will take issue with a tank top and shorts in November?!

8:00 PM Same Day

At about 7:14 AM I stepped on that scale at work, exhaled with all my might and prayed for the best. Actually, I prayed mostly that I would be able to like myself and accept whatever the scale said. I took a minute to congratulate myself on pushing myself and making healthy eating choices this week. I told myself that my plan was to lose 100 pounds. If I hit 20 today or next week or next year, I'm going to eventually hit it and then on to 100.

I almost passed out. There it was....236 !(gasp gasp, choke, choke -it's hard to write such an obscene number for public viewing) 5 pounds down from last week. Whoo hoo!!! I praised the Lord while jumping up and down and doing a little dance. I love that happy dance. How often in life are we really that happy that we can't help but dance? It's been a while, so I found myself spontaneously doing the jig all day long. The real joy? That I actually had some determination for once in a long time. That I made some great changes to my daily life that have been actually paying off. That I have seen my athletic abilities increase....these are the real joys. Not to mention giving away ANOTHER bag of clothes. I love being a Bag Donator.

I also had to give some kudos to Tony and Bob. You know how temperamental- how do you spell that? - the gym machines can be.

Next goal - 25 lbs by the time I see my family in Texas for Thanksgiving. Major obstacle to achieving that goal - Paradise Village Resort and Spa's All Inclusive Meal Plan. I'm bringing a needle and thread and having my friend Jamie sew my mouth closed.

Bring a Camera and Meet Me at the Gym

Did you ever have one of those moments when you wished you had a camera? Not to capture the first steps of a beloved toddler, or the vista from atop an incredible peak but something even more awe-inspiring...Rita turning on the lights at the gym.

Yes. I know. Your first response is to think I was being teacher-like after school and readjusting the lights in the workout room after some teenage prankster has had his way. Any thing to preserve reading light for US Weekly, right? Wrong!

Picture the dark, silent, and incredibly cold parking lot of the Berkeley Heights YMCA. Then picture..no, wait. It's impossible for most of you to picture this because you have NO FRAME OF REFERENCE for the gym at 5:29 AM!!! HA HA HA!!!! (evil laugh)

That was mean - sorry. But you have to understand that I have no frame of reference for size 8 jeans, Banana Republic, or "I'm just too full for dessert, " so just indulge me this one triumphant moment.

This week I actually was one of a group to be the FIRST into the workout room - and I actually flipped on the light switch!!! I, Rita Brown, turned on the gym lights. I was there FIRST! No music pumping yet, no sweat dripping, no heavy breathing. Just darkness and the rag-tag bunch of workout junkies stumbling in for our morning fix. Actually, they'd probably clunk me with a barbell if they heard I called them "rag-tag." These people are the most energetic, friendly, and encouraging gym-goers I've ever met. They constantly inspire me.

Anyway, as I stood there for a second as all the lights flicked on in order, I had to pause to actually comprehend that I was standing at the Y at freakin' 5:30 AM and I had now been doing this for about two whole months non stop. A personal record. Actually, the pause had to be brief because I needed to claim treadmill #3. I've affectionately named him Tony. I don't think he liked being known only as "#3." He's so good to me - he needed a name.

Lessons learned since last post:
1. Being sick is not an excuse to stop working out. I actually felt BETTER after working out despite clogged sinuses and a hacking cough. When Tony and I started moving together (small children avert your eyes here) I thought it was a mistake. But after about 5-7 minutes, I couldn't believe the second wind I got. I actually worked harder than I had the day before. Bottom line - exercise gives you energy. It brings oxygen to your blood cells. It helps.

2. Working hard WILL get you a smaller size. I gave away two more pairs of pants and bought three (I'm too poor to lose weight!) more in a SMALLER size. I haven't been this size in three years. Whooo hooo!!!!!

3. No matter how you try to work it - Halloween candy is evil. Don't go near it. Don't even say the c-word after October 1. Put all memories of it out of your mind. Renounce it. Scoff at it. Smite it at every turn. If you have to have it in your house, buy something like Nerds or Mary Janes. No, even I will eat those things if I'm desperate enough. Go the wussy route and buy Playdough or pencils. The kids in the neighborhood will try to stone you but you'll have less fat to weigh you down as you outrun them. Note: I went up .6 lbs this week.

Stay tuned for the Top 5 (or 10, the way I've been going lately) Most Embarrassing Gym Moments. If anyone has one to add - post a response! :)

Thank you to our Lord, Rebbecca, Melissa, J., and Christine for their support.